Mighty Bharata Vol 1 Chapter 2
The Dhritta-litter grew and spread, fought and haggled over the land, and created an unfair, unhealthily competitive mood over the whole place...
The eldest and most malicious, Duryodhana, developed an ominous looking moustache during his early pubescent days. In fact, it was more aptly referred to as Bushtache. And he reserved his laughter for his evil deeds. When he did, it was a thigh-slapping spectacle, head thrown back, so that only the top row of teeth and the twiggly tonsils at the black of his throat were visible.
They quarreled with Paandu gang, mostly about insane things. Like once, the Kauravas mixed something in Bhima's laddoos after which he had an upset stomach. It was an ugly sight at the men's room. Weeks after, people still came out of the room with their curled upper lips pasted over their nostrils...
Once, Duryodhana somehow bumped his nose in a glass door at Pandava's palace. Now to give him some credit, a glass or a mirror was a high-tech invention in those reflectionless days. Owning mirrors was an act of extravagance and fancy, not of need. It was normal to have somebody else shave your armpit or pick your teeth. Draupadi therefore laughs her ass off seeing hot and confused D holding up his nose. In a vow to take revenge, the Kauravas somehow make the Pandavas stake, and lose, Draupadi at their casino, and physically abuse Draupadi by trying to disrobe her in the eyes of everybody-well, technically not everybody: Dhritta-something and his wife could not see a damn thing. In any case, lucky for the Abusee, Krishna the fluted cowboy saves the day. He somehow manages to fashion a sari-supplying ropeline out of his lasso ('Janai'), and the Kauravas give up in the end.
Krishna is a strange character. For one, he was blueskinned. Almost all girls looked at him wondering why he was so blue all the time. He also had this knack of twirling a miniature frisbee ('Sudarshan Chakra') in his forefinger.
You can see, in the picture, bearded Bhishma frisbeeing with Krishna (Yep- earliest frisbees were made of wood), him saying 'come on, sissy. is that all you got?'. Arjuna begging at Krishna's feet: 'Come on, Kkrish, let me throw it this time.' The white lasso is quite visible around Krishna's torso, which had a role to play on the famous Draupadi Disgracing Drama. You can also see others lazing around leisurely on the picnic ground, although the turbulent skies show that it was not a good day for frolicking.
Bhishma was a warrior by nature, and was obsessed with promises. He was born with a white hair and a meter-long beard. As a child, he threw tantrums by making obsessive promises and taking wild oaths. At one time, he swore that he will die in a bed of roses, hence acquiring his name: (Bhishma: 'a person of the terrible oath'). It turns out later that he dies in a bed of arrows, which, according to him, wasn't a bad alternative, owing to accupressural reasons. After he dies, there is a lot of hue and cry about how he did not live (or did not die, in this case) by his oath; DoN, Department of Names, eventually rename him Wishma, because the notorious oath seemed to be downgraded to just a wish.
End of Chapter 2.
Glimpses of Chapter 3.
At some point in the story, Duryodhana befriends Karna, a fiercely loyal being. He was born in an armor suit (a la Achilles) when Kunti once stared at the Sun (don't ask me details). Kunti, to hide the embarrassing result, floats him down Ganges river (a la Moses). Surviving the rafting trip, Karna is brought up and trained at the Droner Academy, where Kauravas and Pandavas get their training.
The eldest and most malicious, Duryodhana, developed an ominous looking moustache during his early pubescent days. In fact, it was more aptly referred to as Bushtache. And he reserved his laughter for his evil deeds. When he did, it was a thigh-slapping spectacle, head thrown back, so that only the top row of teeth and the twiggly tonsils at the black of his throat were visible.
They quarreled with Paandu gang, mostly about insane things. Like once, the Kauravas mixed something in Bhima's laddoos after which he had an upset stomach. It was an ugly sight at the men's room. Weeks after, people still came out of the room with their curled upper lips pasted over their nostrils...
Once, Duryodhana somehow bumped his nose in a glass door at Pandava's palace. Now to give him some credit, a glass or a mirror was a high-tech invention in those reflectionless days. Owning mirrors was an act of extravagance and fancy, not of need. It was normal to have somebody else shave your armpit or pick your teeth. Draupadi therefore laughs her ass off seeing hot and confused D holding up his nose. In a vow to take revenge, the Kauravas somehow make the Pandavas stake, and lose, Draupadi at their casino, and physically abuse Draupadi by trying to disrobe her in the eyes of everybody-well, technically not everybody: Dhritta-something and his wife could not see a damn thing. In any case, lucky for the Abusee, Krishna the fluted cowboy saves the day. He somehow manages to fashion a sari-supplying ropeline out of his lasso ('Janai'), and the Kauravas give up in the end.
Krishna is a strange character. For one, he was blueskinned. Almost all girls looked at him wondering why he was so blue all the time. He also had this knack of twirling a miniature frisbee ('Sudarshan Chakra') in his forefinger.
You can see, in the picture, bearded Bhishma frisbeeing with Krishna (Yep- earliest frisbees were made of wood), him saying 'come on, sissy. is that all you got?'. Arjuna begging at Krishna's feet: 'Come on, Kkrish, let me throw it this time.' The white lasso is quite visible around Krishna's torso, which had a role to play on the famous Draupadi Disgracing Drama. You can also see others lazing around leisurely on the picnic ground, although the turbulent skies show that it was not a good day for frolicking.
Bhishma was a warrior by nature, and was obsessed with promises. He was born with a white hair and a meter-long beard. As a child, he threw tantrums by making obsessive promises and taking wild oaths. At one time, he swore that he will die in a bed of roses, hence acquiring his name: (Bhishma: 'a person of the terrible oath'). It turns out later that he dies in a bed of arrows, which, according to him, wasn't a bad alternative, owing to accupressural reasons. After he dies, there is a lot of hue and cry about how he did not live (or did not die, in this case) by his oath; DoN, Department of Names, eventually rename him Wishma, because the notorious oath seemed to be downgraded to just a wish.
End of Chapter 2.
Glimpses of Chapter 3.
At some point in the story, Duryodhana befriends Karna, a fiercely loyal being. He was born in an armor suit (a la Achilles) when Kunti once stared at the Sun (don't ask me details). Kunti, to hide the embarrassing result, floats him down Ganges river (a la Moses). Surviving the rafting trip, Karna is brought up and trained at the Droner Academy, where Kauravas and Pandavas get their training.
Labels: hysterics, raconteury, strange thoughts
posted by Milan at 5:22 PM
1 Comments:
I'd like to point out a factual error in your otherwise correct account of history - the disc on Krishna's finger was not a frisbee but a CD (hence the convenient hole in the middle). That's where all his melodious tunes came from, not the flute.
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