Haa-Tshieu!
Do you know you can't sneeze and piss at the same time? Your brain says 'STOP PISSING!!! WE'RE GOING TO SNEEZE NOW!!!!'...
Coz your brain knows... you might just blow your asshole out!
-George Carlin
Yuck, huh?!
Speaking of sneezes, though... it does offer us a momentary pleasure-peak; like some kind of a minor orgasm. (Indeed, studies have shown that individuals suspended at 'about to sneeze' state do show remarkable facial resemblance with those experiencing a sexual orgasm). A good, hearty sneeze gets our vigor renewed. And its a good after-feeling, like you just got purged of all the germs in your body, that too in a natural way.
A mediterranean folklore holds that sneezing is caused by a mischievous elf, Sninzodopolous, who would lurk in the noses and suddenly pull nasal hairs of unaware individuals.
I'm lying, of course. Sometimes, when the timing is right, it gives me an alignment of thoughts. I sometimes suddenly see clarity. I have had times where I would be staring at nothing, get a sneeze, and suddenly rush to my workdesk and flip out my Financial Management book. I have solved case studies and have 'snapped out of it' after a wholesome Haa-Tsschieu. There are even instances where I have suddenly retrieved a long-lost memory after the divine episode.
Some people have signaturesque sneezes. Like my neighbor- he literally shouts it out. My sister does it in a row of three. Hers goes like: HatshieuooooooHatshieuoooooooHatshieuoooo... Some jerk their torsos and flail their limbs during the process as if their body cannot contain the expelling force. And I have met some people in the states who do it like it was nothing but a pocket of breath stuck in the throat- a polite, half-sneeze, followed by a 'excusez moi'.
I too automatically excuse myself after I sneeze. Where did I get that habit from? And what is the apology for? Depositing more germs in the atmosphere? That's where I got the germs/dust from in the first place, no? Then?? Still, spray in the face is unpleasant to acquire.
Which reminds me. Anjani and I came across this joke in Ekta Bookstore:
Q. When is it not an offense to spit at a man's face?
A. When his moustache is on fire.
Ha ha ha!!
Coz your brain knows... you might just blow your asshole out!
-George Carlin
Yuck, huh?!
Speaking of sneezes, though... it does offer us a momentary pleasure-peak; like some kind of a minor orgasm. (Indeed, studies have shown that individuals suspended at 'about to sneeze' state do show remarkable facial resemblance with those experiencing a sexual orgasm). A good, hearty sneeze gets our vigor renewed. And its a good after-feeling, like you just got purged of all the germs in your body, that too in a natural way.
A mediterranean folklore holds that sneezing is caused by a mischievous elf, Sninzodopolous, who would lurk in the noses and suddenly pull nasal hairs of unaware individuals.
I'm lying, of course. Sometimes, when the timing is right, it gives me an alignment of thoughts. I sometimes suddenly see clarity. I have had times where I would be staring at nothing, get a sneeze, and suddenly rush to my workdesk and flip out my Financial Management book. I have solved case studies and have 'snapped out of it' after a wholesome Haa-Tsschieu. There are even instances where I have suddenly retrieved a long-lost memory after the divine episode.
Some people have signaturesque sneezes. Like my neighbor- he literally shouts it out. My sister does it in a row of three. Hers goes like: HatshieuooooooHatshieuoooooooHatshieuoooo... Some jerk their torsos and flail their limbs during the process as if their body cannot contain the expelling force. And I have met some people in the states who do it like it was nothing but a pocket of breath stuck in the throat- a polite, half-sneeze, followed by a 'excusez moi'.
I too automatically excuse myself after I sneeze. Where did I get that habit from? And what is the apology for? Depositing more germs in the atmosphere? That's where I got the germs/dust from in the first place, no? Then?? Still, spray in the face is unpleasant to acquire.
Which reminds me. Anjani and I came across this joke in Ekta Bookstore:
Q. When is it not an offense to spit at a man's face?
A. When his moustache is on fire.
Ha ha ha!!
posted by Milan at 10:40 AM
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