How to Slide a Chicken Under the Door

The other day I was trying to find out a way to slide a chicken under a door; This conundrum proved tougher than the Da Vinci Code and no, I have not yet found out a viable, noncasualty way of doing so. However, you might be awed to hear the wealth of options that went through my head:

1. Chloroform it- pluck out the feathers- roll it flat by a rolling pin- make a roti shape- slide it through;
2. Saw off the bottom portion of the door, at least 2 feet high- tell the chicken to walk through the opening;
3. Write 'a chicken' on a piece of paper- alternatively DRAW a chicken- slide the paper through;
4. Take the chicken's beak- insert it through the slit, ignoring the wild sqawks- and just keep pushing until it emerges on the other side- you might have to clip its clawnails first though;
5. Take a razor sharp knife- slice the chicken into very thin layers- place all layers, one after the other, on a rolled out toilet paper ('spreadsheet')- tie a string on the front of the spreadsheet- pull it gently from the other side of the door.

Is anybody concerned about the gravity of the situation? Last night, I called Kantipur Television to tell them of my developments, but after hearing 'Who is this guy?' in the background, I quickly hung up. I don't know, I got too scared...