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The prodigal blogger has returned. I wonder if anyone noticed my absence?!! he he... a pathetic guy, right? Can I at least hope that I can garner some pity out of you onlookers by self-degrading process. if you didnt understand this statement, just skip it.

Still here? ahh... ahem... ok, let me exercise my raconteur skills, if there is any. I have not yet recovered from the ego-blast after not having seen my R-tickle printed in TKP, despite enthusiastic 'reviews' from some of my nears and dears. I meant friends. who did you think I was referring to? myself? nahhh, i do have some friends.

By the way, what is the approximate word count of an average blog post? I always seem to exceed it, thereby committing perjury of trampling on the blogging etiquette and wandering off in the Unmannerly Kingdom.

I can't believe you're still reading. Charles Foster Kane (Citizen Kane) stated once in his lifetime "I think it will be fun to run a newspaper". I think he was right. I am at least simulating running one. Sooo... do you have any more interesting title than 'Milan's Daily'? I didn't think so. well, it's fun. I dont have any advertisers yet. My publishers are giving me a service for free. (no, not FEE, you dyslexic). Except for the charges to the Snail Pace Dialup Corporation and Unreliance Telecom, this business is without an expense. Would you like to see the balance sheet and the income statement of the 'firm'? Dont bother, it's blank.

And please don't ask me about the viewership. Although, it is actually a profitable venture. my mind is happily employed, and i am thankful for finally having gotten something in return after feeding her morsels for the past 25+ years.

You know, this feels like a half-IM chat. I am typing something from this side. I am not sure whether there is anything happening on the recievers' end. i feel like reaching through this monitor and grabbing the jowls of the the dear readers, and train their eyes on the blogging screen. MMMAYBE Bill Gates would do something about it? Well, I am not talking about routing the information around the internet. and i am not talking about hardware either. Well, you need a 'window' to put your hands through, right? and all hands are digital (check your fingers), so there should not be any issue of incompatibility. Kapisce?

Well, this post is already long enough to test my attenti... by the way, why are those teacup/mug holding discs called 'coasters'? Does it not suggest that if you put a liquid-holder in a coaster, it will move around effortlessly? welllll, maybe in Rowling's world it might do so. I can imagine Ron looking visibly stupefied by the impudent little animated coaster, while Harry is looking all calm and sagely, reminiscing his last Quidditch game.

Another digression. Sorry. I did not intend to poke you with one of my tangents. That was very Tangentlemanly of me. Anyways and manyways, on this tangequencial note, brimming with unfathomable wits and mental wags, i must beg of my leave. Well... I guess I do not need to be doing any begging- you seem to have preempted me.

you stupid. stupid stupid. stupid. creature.

oops, sorry. I didnt think you'd reach to this line. Million pardons. What're you still doing here? Go elsewhere, and gain a few mental pounds. You're only bound to get stupidity here.

Wallace and Gromit- The Movie

They've finally made the movie! In case you dont know who they are... They're the claymations made by Aardman Animation. Great, very british, silly, hilarious, Contraptionary short films. The films made so far:

1. A Grand Day Out
2. The Wrong Trousers
3. A Close Shave
4. Creature Comforts- not a Wallace&Gromit; But this won the 1990 Oscar for 'Best Animated Short'
5. Adam: Not W&G, Nominated, Oscar, 1992
6. Wallace and Gromit's Cracking Contraptions
7. Chicken Run: The one with Mel Gibson
   
8. NOW: Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

I strongly recommend you to watch this movie, if you get ahold of it.

Some Hilarious One-Liners

Thinkers:
**Guy walks into a bar...
and says Ouch.
** A termite walks into a bar...
and says: Is the bar tender here?
**Whats brown and sticky?
A Stick
**I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
**How do you stop a fish from smelling? #Cut its nose off
**What did hitler say to his men before thy got into their tanks?
... Get into your tanks
**2 goldfish in a tank. One turns to the others and says:
Jesus, how do you drive this thing?
**Who is the leader of the hankies?
The hankerchief

Groan. Yuckies:
**What has two legs and bleeds ?
Half a dog.
**Whats the last thing that comes into a flys head as he hits a car windscreen?
His Ass
**What's yellow and smells like bananas?
Monkey Vomit! (yuckkkkk!!)
** Did you heard about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil, but it came out in logs.
**Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them
**I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
**Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms
** Who pushed Johnny off the cliff? Not Sally

Sillies:
**What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud
** why did the one armed man cross the road
to get to the second hand shop
**Why did the rooster cross the road?
to prove he wasnt a chicken
Patient: Doctor, doctor I can't feel my legs.
Doctor: Thats because I amputated your arms.
Where does the General keep his armies?
Up his sleevies!!!!!
**A blind walks into a shop with a dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind. 'Just looking.'
**Did you hear what happened to that paper shop up town?

It blew away.

Why did the fly fly ?
Because the spider spied 'er