Love's Context:

Love is a jumble of wor(l)ds.

I know an eye, whose girl is so pretty,
My shatters like glass a heart.

Ev'rytime I feel at her, I look pain,
And pain in life is sometimes good;

That is how my reason hearts out.

My Own Private Drug

If you sprinkle laughter,
All will come running after...
-Milan the Rhymestealer

(revised)
I assertively state the cliched, research-backed fact that humor, laughter, and positivities are all good for health and life. In fact, I grin at people indiscriminately for self-therapeutic motives.

This positive affliction has got a reason. When I get sad/rritated/frustrated, I get consumed. Hence, I try to leverage on happy moments. In fact, when I am happy, I get heartbuzzed, almost vengefully, and I even show it off on fateful times. What says you?

He/She

He punches a code in his right kneecap,
And presses his belly button.
His right calf unzips open,
And three elastic balls dribble out.
Catching two with his hands
And the third with his mouth
He then turns to the girl.

Inserting the two inside her pockets,
And balancing the third on her nose ridge,
She vomits out a spoon,
And gently taps the ball with it.

The ball rolls upwards to the forehead.
Splits into two equal halves,
And begins spewing black spindles,
Which starts rooting into the skin
And become two bushy eyebrows.

Yuck, says he. I like the browless eye.
It's for me to decide, retorts she.
And besides, I also prefer a browless smile.
Huh? Asks he. What could that possibly mean.
The brow you have, jokes she,
Between your nose and your mouth.

Ahh, but this is a sign of virility, says he.
And besides, we shave them off if need be.

But that does not make any… she begins
But the balls in her jeans begin spewing spindles,
Tickling her and making her squirm laughingly.
And what in the name is that?
She says they are her bovine hiphairs.
Hiphairs I can comprehend, he says.
But why bovine? Then she says:
Well, they came out of your calf, didn't it?

Presently, he tugs at her hiphairs
Ouch, she squeals, why did you do that?
But before he can answer, her navel bulges out,
and she yelps laughingly in surprise.
Impossible, an eye! He says,
It's a digestive eye, she says,
It might come in handy during tummy aches

But logically, it should be something else
That reports. Not something that takes in stimuli.

Hmm, that's odd, she says, you're right.
So, she takes a deep breath, and keeps still
While the navel swallows the eye.
And as she violently breathes out,
He sees a belly button.

Drunken Gazal

Listening drunkenly to the lazed gazal tune, he turns a blind eye to the direct sun in his eyes. Even the fly perched majestically on the silk of his nodding tie could not get on his nerves. Sighing contentedly, he feels vibrated at harmony with the hum of the sensual female voice, and lets his hands float on the wafting wind.

When I am like this, he exclaims to himself, I feel as impulsive as a dog.

As if to prove himself, he suddenly breaks his momentum and sits down cross-legged in the middle of the road, his earphone still filled with sultry croonings. Not even to the whooshing truckload of policemen (that leaves his shirt and tie flapping crazily) does he decide to bother.

Gently, he realizes that he does not feel any necessity to reach his office today.

Lying through your teeth

You know a fly has farted when you see it flying in a straight line...
-George Carlin

The most achieved liars are the raconteurs of bedtime stories and fantasy, like C.S. Lewis (Alice in Wonderland, Narnia Chronicles), J. K. Rowling, and the fabricators of religion, cinderella story, red riding hood, etc.

Lying harmlessly can be used as an amusement tool, if you really think about it. I sometimes employ prevarications and fabrications to amuse myself. It is fun making up something that sounds too weird to be true. But the catch is that it should only be a bit weird. And you have to be specific about it. It is like you are creating an event that might as well have happened, but you need to sprinkle some odd facts to make the listeners prick their ears yourway.

Like, you can say:

1. "you know, those music bands that play those Hindi movie songs in weddings. They inherently have this intense competition. Normally, one guy from some band company will sit down and translate the catchy songs into the band's notation. That notation script is so valuable that he does not normally let others see it. Often, ugly scuffles break out when somebody from another band company is caught stealing/plagiarizing the original notation."

2. "Chhinnze Tongg Maah! means I want to be your scrumptious petal in Vietnamese."

3. Long time ago, there was this divine being who hooked up with a talking and flying monkey with a handy tail and some odd animals, who helped make a floating rocky bridge to win back his love of life from a dude with 10 heads who had a golden kingdom on an island.

I consider myself an accomplished liar (of harmless type). After my delivery, I invariably see the awed expression. And a statement "really?!", after which I promptly reply, "Of course not...".

Too Weird Lies
Although, I also make up absurd events, making the listener know for sure it's a straight lie as soon as I say it.
But with the aim being to watch how he/she takes in and tries to digest the fabricated morsel. I would say something like:

1. "you know, I have found out how to communicate with the dogs."

2. "Once, immediately after watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone, I suddenly had this unexplained urge to concentrate on my room's door and run into it; the next thing i realized was that I was on the other side of it."

The listeners sometimes give me an 'you never change', or 'as if that can happen' look. But rarely, they find it laughing funny. Even more rarely, it backfires- the listener actually believes it. I think that was when I said "Once, I jumped from the roof of my house, and landed on the concrete completely intact." Tara you never know whether that (as in, somebody believing) actually happened!

;)

When Ants Go Marchin' in Your Space

"The next time you espy a wayward ant on your book or workspace, before you start getting antsy, recall the technique that has been perfected by the science crusaders."
Findings show that it is frustrating that ants are too tiny to be blown away by our exhalations. This frustration is much deep-rooted than we think. It starts from spotting an ant in our private space, and usually lingers on the subconscious so that the next time we see another ant, we experience a new round of frustration just from reflecting the fact that we were unsuccessful at getting rid of the ant in the previous encounter.
Stink it up
There have been many studies done to ease this woe. Antoine, one of the Wacky Boys at Pradhan Labs, had been working on the StinkIt project. The project entailed a subject ingesting something foul and emitting an odorous breath over the ant. The objective is to make the ant faint from the stench, and thereafter to flick it off by the nail of one's left pinkie. Test items to be ingested included raw garlic cloves, and glasses of bagmati water and local liquor. However, the stink was too overwhelming and caused some human casualty. Also, more resistant ants were instead barfing up, adding to the stench. It was a big olfactory mess. StinkIt had to be defunded.

Brewing Oral Storms
The other option is obviously to blow the ant away from the surface. One complication is that the ants sense the storm before it hits them. They take to crouching onto the ground, after which no amount of force can move them. In fact, Anton Ground, a mathematician, proved that if the air-force is sufficiently powerful, the book on which the ant is holding its stance will first get blown away.
(pic: The Crouch Posture)

The Violent Blow
In June 2005, Antoine, the same engineer of the Wacky Boys fame, upped the ante. He devised another ant-ridding technique, whose effectiveness has wowed even his badmouthers (bad pun) and allowed him to once again ride the celebrity waves. He reasserted that the power to rid of ants still lies in our own breath. His Violent Blow method is the best so far (success rate of 97.8% ).
How: You have to be systematic about the blowing affair. After you decide that you would like the bug off your space, take a deep breath and pause momentarily. This is to dispel the Anticipation that you are about to let out a tempest. If you at all watch NatGeo, you might realize that an Antennae is very sensitive to micro-changes in the air densities around it. It can detect even the gentlest inhalation of air. (See pic below)









While you're holding your breath, see whether you can sense that the ant is still suspicious of something black in the lentils. After ensuring that it has let down its guards, in a 'Pphu', let out your breath all in one violent go. The faster you let go the better. If your breath's acceleration surpasses the AntFlight threshold, the ant will be successfully airlifted.
The 2.2% probability of backfiring is attributable to the chances of following occurring:
1. During the Pphu delivery, sometimes your throat constricts involuntarily. Air then tries to vent out from your nostrils, which seriously undermines the power of your blow.
2. During the Pphu, random misfires in synaptic nervous transmissions from your brain can cause your body muscles (especially in your arms and neck) to jerk. This will not foil your plan unless your bodily movement scares the ant, who will promptly assume a tighter Crouch.
3. After you pause in breath to chase away the suspicion, you might sometimes totally forget to exhale. This is a dangerous possibility, since your lungs, your blood vessels, and eventually your brain become devoid of oxygen, and consequently you experience rapid cellular atrophy. You are therefore advised to keep your mental cool, and practice the inhale-pause-exhale routine several times during the day. Youngsters below 12 years of age are strongly advised not to perform this method.
4. Sometimes, the ant is better equipped with extra-grip shoes. This greatly enhances the static friction between it and the surface it walks on. Here, you have no option but to plug in an electric blower to blast out a high-power wind. One dirty alternative is the PinkieFlick maneuver that I have already discussed above.
The Humane Way
If animal rights is your thing, place a few sugar granules on a liftable object (e.g., a postcard, a plastic sheet- make sure the surface is glossy and slippery). Then wait for the ant's antenna to pick up the sweet signals. Once the ant walks on the smooth grounds, you can pick up the object, point it to your trashcan, and blow the ant into the can. The success rate is not that high and this process can take a lot of time.
Spotting the bug can be quite an 'ants in your pants' experience. However, with the proper techniques, you will only feel sorry for the ant.